I was asked this past week at work (I'm a library clerk) by a black gentleman if I had Indian blood. I responded that I did, on my father's side but that it was so remote as to be almost impossible to name. (Moctezuma's daughters are my ancestresses.) My father's father's mother probably had Indian, but what kind, who knows?
Anyway, I wasn't insulted just surprised. The funny thing is is that my features are my Scots mother's but my coloring is a paler version of my dad's. I have salt and pepper hair like my Jerezana grandmother and her almond-shaped eyes. I have funny colored eyes...I don't think they're those eyes we were discussing earlier in December. Sometimes if my skin flushes or I'm red from being out in the sun, they're almost hazel. I DO consider myself Hispanic as opposed to Mexican because I had more Scots influence in my formative years and I'm married to a South American of Italian descent, so our family is more continental than Mexican. But I can't and don't ever deny that my father was Mexican-born, therefore, half of my being. I also cannot and will not deny my Scots half. Just can't do it to either side. Marge:)
On Jan 13, 2006, at 10:08 AM, Alberto Duarte wrote:
Good write up...
I have in the past felt that same way as you have
written. And this is the reason I enjoy and indulge
in genealogy--to learn who I am and where I came from.
Alberto Duarte Prieto
Santa Maria, California
--- lareina2@... wrote:
---------------------------------
The issues of acculturation and assimiliation run deep
and are painful in this land of multiethnic and
multicultural groups. What do I call myself? Who am
I? Much of the pain of the generation that follows
the immigrant one often causes much confusion, and
sometimes, self-hatred and denial of ancestry. How
can I call myself a Mexican when I can speak only a
rudimentary Spanish and only visited the birthplace of
my grandma and great-grandma once? When I visit
Mexico, I recognize its beauty and its devastation,
and when I land in the United States, I am happy to
drive my sedan, go inside my condo, and turn on my tv
to "Law and Order." Both my parents are of Mexican
descent, but both were born in the US. On my mom's
side, both my grandparents were born in the US as
well. When my maternal grandfather was offered the
opportunity to visit deep into Mexico (not Juarez or
Tijuana), he said, "My parents left Mexico for a
reason. Why would I want to return?" His practical
Texan mind did not yearn for the land of his
ancestors.
I remember as a child growing up that my father
instilled a deep pride of my Mexican ancestry. He was
a young man during the Chicano Movement, and even
attended the Moratorium in 1970. I have never had a
negative attitude about the word Chicano/Chicana, but
as a child of the '80s, I never saw the need to be as
political as my father. I have often told him that I
will fight in marches if I need to, but my fight
against prejudice and racism is fought in the
classroom, where I expose my students to
Mexican-American literature and topics. For years I
have often felt like a traitor, however. I see the
struggles of the new immigrants, but I do not truly
understand, having been raised in middle-class
suburbia. I feel uncomfortable when speaking
Spanish, for the words do not come easily to me in
front of an audience as they do when I am alone. I
see people as individuals. and have often overlooked
the ethnic/racial backgrounds of people. I have had
friends of all ethnicities, as well people whom I have
disliked from my own culture. And then a student will
ask me "what does a Mexican know about teaching
English?" and I remember that I am different. Yet
none of this answers the question of "who am I?" To
paraphrase Edward James Olmos in the movie "Selena,"
"we have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more
American than the Americans." So how can I say I am
American, when I hear a beautiful Mexican song and my
heart sings along and I love to indulge in a big bowl
of menudo with extra tripe?
I'm sorry for rambling, but I do not fit totally in
either culture. I came to genealogy as a path for a
better understanding of who my family is and was, and
where they came from and for health reasons-- and I've
discovered that I am the Spanish, I am the indigenous;
I am the slave, I am the slave-owner. I am the
conqueror and the conquered. To hate the Spanish is
to hate a part of myself. To deny my indigenous
background is to deny myself. To reject the American
is to reject myself. I am all of these, and yet none
of these, entirely. We all must come to our own level
of acceptance or rejection of who we are and from
where we come. I think much of my feelings are
well-stated in this famous poem by Rodolfo "Corky"
Gonzales, "I am Joaquin":
http://members.cox.net/mechademoh/I_Am_Joaquin.html .
Look especially at the last stanza, and my favorite
lines are at the beginning, "I am Joaquin/ Lost in a
world of confusion..."
I taught a Chicano/Chicana lit course, and as I told
my students, Chicanos/Chicanas, Mexican-Americans,
Latinos, Hispanics, Americans of Mexican descent,
Spanish, Americans, none of these labels tell us and
everyone around us who we are. Each emphasizes a
small part of the total sum of our culture and
customs. Each of these terms are fraught with all of
the love and hate we feel about others and about
ourselves. So in the end, there is no answer. We can
search for the "truth", but I have found that to be
elusive.
So, as I end my ruminations, let me just say that I
have learned to accept all who created me, and all who
influence me. I love the Mexican culture, and I
appreciate the country I was born in and where I live.
Well, thanks for reading this far. I hope we all can
shed some light on this most important subject.
Rosalinda Ruiz
Southern California
-----Original Message-----
From: Arturo Ramos
Sent: Jan 12, 2006 11:55 AM
To: ranchos@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [ranchos] Re: double surnames
Erlinda:
The whole Chicano vs. Mexican-American vs. Latin@ vs.
Hispanic debate
is a very contentious one in the United States. I
think that all of
those terms are very politically laden such that there
is no single
one that everyone would agree with. There is an
interesting episode
where the renowned author Sandra Cisneros balked at
being featured in
Hispanic magazine because of such a disagreement. She
agreed only
after the magazine agreed to show her on the cover in
a profile shot
with a fake tatoo reading "LATINA" across her arm.
There is an interesting article on this:
http://www.hispanicmagazine.com/2000/dec/Features/latino.html
I suppose that if you want to designate descendancy
from peoples of
Mexico, Mexican or Mexican-American would be the most
precise. I
will leave my commentary at that lest I get myself in
trouble.
Interesting thing though, I have run across documents
where the
indigenous peoples of the area around Colotlan and
Totatiche would
refer to the indigenous colonizers from the south
(Tlaxcaltecs,
Otomis and Huastecs) as "mexicanos" designating that
they spoke the
Mexican language (i.e. nahuatl) and they did not
consider themselves
as such, since they spoke a different (Tepehuan)
language. One of
these references appears in an interview with one of
the last
tepehuan speakers in Azqueltan, Jalisco in 1912!
I think that the term Mexican to designate all of the
ethinicities of
Mexico was probably not adopted until after
independence. I imagine
that those of pure Spanish descent would not consider
themselved
Mexican before that, especially when the term
specifically refered to
the nahuatl-speakers of central Mexico.
--- In ranchos@yahoogroups.com, "Erlinda
Castanon-Long"
<longsjourney@y...> wrote:
>
> I want to thank everyone for the input on double
surnames and y
versus
> de... I had forgotten that I use a double surname
too! I felt I
> didn't want to give up my Hispanic maiden name so
just hyphenated
it
> with my married name. That makes me Castanon-Long,
I guess in
Latin
> America that would make me Castanon y Long ... I
found at the
family
> reunion that most of my female cousins from my
generation did the
> same. Many of us did not marry Hispanic but would
have kept our
> maiden name regardless. Just like someone said, it's
a matter of
> family pride..
>
> One more question.. which is 'politically' correct
to designate our
> nationality of origin if we or our ancestors were
from Mexico...
> Hispanic, Latino, Mexican-American or
American-Mexican? I find I
> really upset some people when I call myself
Hispanic. I'm told that
> excludes my Indio blood... People ask me what my
nationality is
> because I'm just brown enough to not be Anglo but
have light green
> eyes, my sister get's the same thing and she has
blue eyes and
> freckles. I still laugh when told I don't look like
a Mexican...
what
> does a Mexican look like!!!!
>
> Linda in Everett
>
---------------------------------
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