Wow Irma, your Dad sounds just like mine.  The last time I went to 
San Nicolas with him I asked about going to the cemetery where my 
grandfather is buried and he had no interest in doing that. He asked 
me why I wanted to go.  I explained to him that I might find some 
valuable genealogical information there.  He said there were not many 
headstones and there were mostly wooden crosses on otherwise unmarked 
graves.  I still would like to go and see for myself and plan do so 
sometime in the future.

I also asked him about dia de los Muertos and why we were never told 
about or practiced the custom. He replied that he never did either. 
When I asked him what my grandparents did to honor the dead he told 
me that they prayed the Rosary.  Now that I am researching our 
genealogy and have found that for the last 300 to 500 years our 
ancestors were Catholic I understand the reason.

Maria

--- In ranchos@yahoogroups.com, Irma GomezLucero <igomezlucero@c...> 
wrote:
> I envy you Linda.  I tried to get my dad and family in Mexico to 
take me to
> the cemetery where my grandmother was buried.  My dad interrupted 
and
> refused to take me there.  His response was, "Why do you want to go 
to a
> place where everyone is dead when you have all of these live 
relatives?"
> Okay how do you respond when your "live" relatives are staring at 
you.
> Enjoying history, I have always "enjoyed" going to cemeteries 
because there
> is so much history there.  No, I don't like funerals though.  Next 
time I
> will go on my own even if I have to walk there.
> Along the same vein...  a few years ago, I was asked to do a 
cultural
> presentation of sorts to my daughter's class around Halloween.  I 
decided to
> build "un altar" for El Dia de los Muertos.  When I asked my 
parents about
> this custom, they said, " We don't do that.   Once we bury our 
dead, we go
> to church have Masses said for them, pray for them, but we don't 
hang out at
> cemeteries."  I actually had to do research on the custom which 
more a
> combination of Indigenous beliefs coupled with Catholocism.  I felt 
this was
> a wonderful way to honor your family which has passed away.  I 
built an
> "altar" to my grandparents.  I had my daughter explain what every 
item meant
> to my grandparents.  Her classmates were surprised to find out that 
she had
> never met my abuelitos.  My goal was to remind these children to 
talk to
> their grandparents, ask them questions about themselves, etc., 
before it was
> too late.  It was an awsome experience for all.
> Tonight I will see my folks, and plan to ask them more about 
cemeteries in
> Mexico.  I didn't know they buried individuals on top of others.  
Yep, I
> have more homework to do before I visit the cemeteries in Mexico. 
> Irma
>  
> 
>   _____  
> 
> From: Erlinda Castanon-Long [mailto:longsjourney@y...] 
> Sent: Thursday, June 30, 2005 10:13 AM
> To: ranchos@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: Re: [ranchos] Margarita's rememberance of Jerez, Zacatecas
> 
> 
> The whole idea of death in the District of Jerez is different than 
here
> stateside.  I wanted to visit all the cemeteries I'd found in the 
research
> records.  Our host could not understand my desire to go to 
cemeteries, he
> said the past was the past!  He did take us to the cemetery in Los 
Aros/Los
> Haros, I found all the names I have been researching clear back to 
the
> 1750's.  One could almost feel the ancestors... I also went to the 
cemetery
> in El Durazno.  They absolutely refused to take me to Panteon de 
los Dolores
> in Jerez, they said enough was enough...
>  
>  I did notice in Jerez that coffins are sold in shops that display 
them in
> the window, that was kinda shocking to me. They said when someone 
dies they
> have to be buried within 24 hours since they don't embalm.  In El 
Durazno
> they have the "viewing" in the home then go to the church for the 
service
> and then carry the coffin on their shoulders,complete with 
Mariachi's if
> they can afford them, and walk the 1/2 mile to the cemetery in a 
procession.
> I found lots of huge marble monuments but all cemeteries were badly
> neglected because they don't like to go their unless it's to bury 
someone..
> they do not go to visit and pay respects. Everyone in El Durazno 
paid for
> the land for a cemetery 20 years ago and when a family member  dies 
they are
> "prepaid" for burial.
>  
> The burial practices were different in the old days too.  They 
would put up
> to 5 people in each grave, removing the bones to the foot of the 
grave and
> then putting the new 'box' as it was described to me... I was 
standing over
> a neglected Alcala grave and noticed something round so I bent over 
to pick
> it up, turned out to be a leg bone much to my surprise.. After 
getting over
> the shock I moved some dirt, reburied the bone and said a prayer 
for the
> ancestors and me!
> I would highly recommend visiting an ancestral homesite if it's ever
> possible, it's very humbling and highly emotional to walk the 
ground your
> ancestors lived on.
> Linda
>